Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
How external is "for external use only"?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
