I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize