do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
