so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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