just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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