I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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