my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
