used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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