you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
