Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
