Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
