I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The Olympian is in my bed
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
