Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
