Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
