Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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