There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
