i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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