Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
