Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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