Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
