Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We left an ass print on the piano.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
