Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We need to rekindle our bromance
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
