i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
