Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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