Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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