Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Betty ford says i'm here all night
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Randomize
