So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
