In the future we'll all be gay
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize