My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
