After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ladies don't puke and tell
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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