Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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