Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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