do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
