By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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