they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
