fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
