don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
