I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Randomize
