When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
