K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
