Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
