literally had 100 drinks last night.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
