Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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