Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
