"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm really busy with my period
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