The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
