Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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