He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
