They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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