Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
