he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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