who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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