If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
