she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
