We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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