Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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