Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
