It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
