If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
