i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
