im having a threesome with these popsicles
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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