so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
