i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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