Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
