You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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