My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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