just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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