This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
