Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
