lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
