Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Couch. On fire.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
