The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
