Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
