I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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