He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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