butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
