His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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