I'm drive I can fine osifer
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
